I recently received this e-mail from a friend of mine. Other than sharing a few books with him, I never really taught him. And now there is nothing I can teach him because he clearly shows in this e-mail that he knows who he is. Doubt-free knowledge, coupled with the negation of the sense of doership (i.e. surrender to Isvara) along with the commitment to get one’s life in harmony with the knowledge of who one is are the hallmarks of moksha.
I told you I would write my questions up. As usual, writing or talking about Vedanta seems to lead me straight to discrimination and my questions always just seem to dissolve. At first this was frustrating because I believed I had questions, as if I cannot possibly be “enlightened”. But it’s become clear to me that I don’t really have any questions. I get it.
There is no experience that needs to happen in order to validate that reality is non dual. When disturbances arise, they no longer cling. Instead a mere wave of the “discriminating hand” is often enough to be done with them, and even in those situations that are more stubborn, we’re talking merely minutes rather than hours, or days, to come back to the awareness I never left. And if I need validation, the fact that the life is almost completely free of disturbances and conflict reveal that I am now taking my stand in awareness as awareness. The coming and going, when it seems to occur, is no matter. I know both.
When I look back, I can identify an experience I had back in June that was a tipping point. I won’t go into the details, unless you’re interested, but the upshot was that I saw very clearly, even if only briefly, that the world belongs to Isvara. Isvara is owner and operator. Trying to change my experience and make it into something I thought I desired was a fool’s errand. Nothing in the empirical world is mine to change. If I have any control over things, it is only relative, and only apparently so.
I have read many times in the satsangs on SW that understanding Isvara is the key. I used to think this was meant in a way that had something to do with devotion, which would take the wind out of my sails a bit since I don’t have a devotional bone in my body. But what was really meant is that I can give up the world. I can give up trying to mold this life. This body-mind belongs to Isvara. My children belong to Isvara. I can just let it all go. Sure I don’t get to take credit anymore for my strong points that I used to believe I had something to do with, but it also means I don’t have to take responsibility for the seemingly crappy traits either. That’s a deal that is fine with me.
So I’m left now with slowly burning off vasanas. Some have given way easily and quickly, others will probably be here until this body-mind gives out. Whatever. I could care less. They are the jiva‘s, through Isvara, and I am not the jiva. I am free. I have always been. Vedanta is the means to clean out the ignorance of separation that makes it seem otherwise. I know of no other teaching or understanding that could possibly do that. It really is the end of knowledge.